Post by charzie on Feb 26, 2010 14:12:34 GMT -5
- - - - - paige isabel marchant.
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WELCOME TO SYDNEY, AUSTRALIA. FIRST, WE NEED TO GET TO KNOW A LITTLE BIT ABOUT YOU. TELL US YOUR NAME, NICKNAMES, AGE, JOB, ETC.
" well, uhm, thank you? i suppose. the name's paige isabel marchant. people mostly call me paige as yeah, that does appear to be my name? some weirdoes tend to call me by my middle name, which i don't get at all. i mean, yeah, i have a first name for a reason, which i prefer to isabel, because isabel was my mother's favourite name and uhm, she's a bitch. anyway, where was i? yeah, people call me iz, izzy, izzila, whatever the fuck they please cause it's a free country. if i had anything to do with it though, they'd just be calling me paige, drives me crazy. i've just tuned nineteen actually. yeah, it was my birthday a few weeks ago, my mate's threw a rocking party for me. i can't remember much of it, but that is most people's epitome of a good night, no? i don't really have a job, not yet anyway. my daddy usually funds whoever i need, he's pretty high up there, but we're not super rich or anything. but i'm an only child so he ahs quite a lot of money to spend, especially now we've paid our mortgage off. i'm a sophomore at college, anyway, majoring in fashion design and minoring in sociology. there's no point really, but my daddy wants me to, so. oh, and i'm heterosexual. i do believe in fair rights and all that stuff though. my old best friend was gay. he used to go through a load of shit which was totally unfair...but let's not speak of him, please? "
NOW TELL US ABOUT YOUR LIKES, DISLIKES, AND JUST YOUR PERSONALITY IN GENERAL. WHAT KIND OF PERSON ARE YOU? BE DESCRIPTIVE SO WE CAN GET TO KNOW THE REAL YOU.
" oh gods. well, i guess i'll start by telling you what i'm like, yeah? i'm not very good at talking about myself. i don't think i'm all that great, despite how i act and everything. i act really confident, and i talk shit like no-ones business, because it's fun, and it keeps people off my back. i don't like getting too close to people, because they'll always end up fucking you up. the same reason why i don't really do relationships. i do one night stands. i do flings, and i like sex, but say anything about commitment and i'll run away. i try and keep myself isolated from most people who might try and get to close to me, people who i might end up not minding, and eventually hanging around with, because that can only lead to trouble. i hang around horrible people, people who are bad for me, who just want to fuck me around because i can hate them and that's easy. loving people, well, that's a whole other story entirely. i'm quite hard on myself, right? hah, but, really... i guess i'm just a coward, and i hate that. i hate most things about myself. i'm constantly trying to improve myself, whether that means loosing weight, or changing my hair, or tanning myself until i get skin cancer; whatever. i'm never perfect, and no matter how much money my daddy gives me to spend on things that i want, no matter how much he tries to protest and tells me there are more worthwhile things to spend... i just can't. i constantly need to impress other people as well. show them that i can stand up for myself, and i'm not cared about what anyone thinks. truthfully, i only really talk to people if they're gorgeous looking. it's easy on my eyes, and it also, in a kind of savage horrible way, makes me feel the need to get better, look better around all these beautiful people. it makes me work harder so i don't get lax and realize i'm okay, because i'm not. i don't want to fall into a rut when i'm okay with being average, or okay. i want to be the best, and i'll never stop until i am. i'm not very trusting, but i have a good reason to be. i'm also not confident at all, in fact, if you knew me well, you'd know i freeze up when i talk to people.. and i can never take things seriously. if you try to have a conversation with me well, good luck, because i'll always be cracking stupid lame ass jokes that offend, and don't amuse. they're not all offensive, i just can't get into deep stuff when i talk to people, i feel like people might actually get to know me, and hate me. i like to party, but i don't need to. i do it once in a while with the few people i actually trust. i get laid with random strangers and smoke pot a bit, but nothing hardcore, because i don't need to. all that said though, if i like you, i'll fight for you to the fucking death. if you have my back, i have yours, and if i trust you, i'll do anything. maybe that's why i don't trust many people, because i am altogether too nice when i trust people, and that would not go down well with me and the people i hang with. i mean... i'm not a completely horrible person, however much i like to pretend. i'm just a bit too nice when it comes to people i actually like, and it always fucks me up.
likes and dislikes? um, okay, if you really want to know. seems a bit silly though....i like compliments, people whose smiles reach their eyes, my daddy, the few people i trust, money, shopping/window shopping, learning, being thin, feeling alright in her own skin, blue eyes, gorgeous guys, beautiful people, flirting, alcohol, partying, smoking the odd roll up, warm weather, sunbathing, when her hair complies with what she wants to do with it, accessorizing, taking pictures of herself, taking pictures in general, old black and white films, animated films, waterbeds, going to concerts, listening to music all the time, long drives, her beautiful bmw, summer, the weekends, underground raves, apple scented shampoo, taking too long in the showers, the sea, swimming, cats, the piano, guys that can play an instrument, lying, no strings attached sex, bubble gum, tattooed guys, 'bad guys', motorbikes, mysteries, haunted houses, giraffes, koalas, exploring, travelling, gymnastics, rock music, buying new clothes and guys with piercings. on the other hand, i don't like cold weather, getting soaked in cold rain, when my hair doesn't comply with me, bed hair, having to wake up early for school, junk food, when chewing gum loses it's taste, teachers that only care about making their school look better, the idea of failing, herself most of the time, mathematics, getting sunburnt, going to the dentists, people who take everything too seriously, people who get pissed off when she avoids serious subjects, her mother, her mother's boy toys, boring colours, spiders, over eating, bad music, discrimination, embarrassing herself, feeling mediocre next to other people, not understanding, songs with no meaning, losing things, the idea of commitment, getting beaten up in mosh pits, poisonous things, soppy chick flicks, hangovers, long queues, losing, and clowns. fears? well, um, spiders and clowns really, i'm terrified of both. and dentists. i've had four teeth pulled out by that bitch i had when i was twelve, and i've never liked them since, i absolutely hate going there. i feel sick with nerves whenever i'm in the waiting room. "
LET'S DIVE INTO YOUR HISTORY. NOTHING IS TOO PERSONAL. TELL US ABOUT WHERE YOU'RE FROM AND HOW YOU ENDED UP IN THE LAND DOWN UNDER.
" well, i was born in queensland, australia, so i've been in the country all my life and have this really heavy accent to prove it. my father's a lawyer, his name's william marchant, and my mother was a hairdresser.. her name's melissa richards now. well, my father was twenty five and my mother twenty six when they had me, and i was really planned. they'd been married for a few years and were content with where they were, and they wanted kids to complete this happy little picture, which is where i came along. i was a good baby apparently. i didn't cry much, and i was really intelligent, and picked up things quicker than most children, which i'm pleased about, haha. we have always been okay in the money department so by the time i came along, they had a cute little three bedroomed house, one for my parents, one for me and a guest bedroom, and for the first few years, everything was okay. i did things most children did, i learnt to walk and talk and all that fun stuff, and my parents practically adored me. it really had completed their life, it seemed. every weekend i would go around my nan and grandad's and sleep over there, and have dinner, and by the time i started at school, i was a cute, happy little child who was prepared to learn everything and anything. i was quite friendly as well, although i was really shy. i didn't go up to kids i didn't know and introduce myself, but i had my own little circle of friends who i was really open around, and everything as fine. that was where i met my ex best friend james. we got along so easily, i'm really not sure how but we instantly clicked, yanno, like some lame old movie or something. he seemed to know exactly what i was going to say before i even said it.. it was pretty crazy, haha.
i was just going into secondary school when my mother left. her and my daddy had been arguing a lot in the pasty, but i didn't think it was anything to worry about. they'd just yell at each other, but i'd hear them make up after i'd gone to bed. sometimes she made daddy cry, and even before she left, i hated her for that. she finally left when i was eleven, and i was pretty crushed, but not nearly as much as daddy, who i suppose believed that she'd always stay with him. it was only a couple of years ago that he finally admitted she'd cheated on him, more than once, but he loved her so he was willing to put that in the past and move on. apparently that wasn't good enough for my mother though, and she moved in with one of her many boy toys, who were barely out of university. he was really creepy, actually. a couple of times i had to go and stay with them, but after my thirteenth birthday, i refused to go, and daddy gave in because he didn't really want me hanging out with my mother's new boyfriend. he was kind of weird anyway; he tried too hard to be nice to me, but you could see he didn't really like me, he was only doing it to impress my mother. it's really stupid. to be honest.... i can't even remember his name. my mother dumped him a couple of years ago and is.. i don't even know. i don't talk to her anymore.
by the time i was fifteen, i'd started lying like nobody's business. i just couldn't help it, it gave me such a rush to know i'd fooled another person. it's really weird, i know. and of course, my best friend had just come out of the closet at the same time. his father was really disgusted and practically tried to disown him; it was only his mother tat stopped him. but, despite all this, james still loved his father for reasons i don't even know now and always wanted to impress him, and when i called his dad 'a dirty fucking bastard who should be hung, drawn and quartered,' he had a real go at me, and i guess that was the start of our friendship going down the drain. we constantly had arguments, over me lying to everyone about the stupidest of things, and about him and his father, and in the end i just said something really stupid in the heat of the moment and he told me we shouldn't be friends anymore. i was pretty crushed, i have to admit, but i'm not anymore. i don't care about him at all anymore, he's in the past, he doesn't deserve to hang out with me anyway. i bet without me he's being picked on even more for being gay. he needed me more than i needed him, and that's all. when i was sixteen, daddy got a new job in sydney and we moved here in my junior year. it was kind of like a fresh start, when i became this new, confident girl in order to try and make it as totally different from my old life as i possibly could. and, well, here i am, i guess. i graduated from high school with pretty stellar marks if i do say so myself, it was quite surprising, and i'm currently a sophomore at college. "
you can call me charzie. i'm spinning fifteeen tracks on my record and i hang out in the im just gonna say england 8| timezone. alrighty, don't hate at me just because i'm using molly steele's face, she falls into the attention whores :]. just in case you're looking for me, i also play no-one else...yet :]. did you hear about the word? ADMIN EDIT is the word. k, let's do this.
mason was a complete wreck. he had never been this nervous before. he wasn't usually somebody who was very nervous anyway - he loved to perform, for everyone's eyes to be on him, and although he, like everyone, suffered pre show nerves, it was nothing compared to this. but, then again, savannah did seem to be the only person who could make him feel things he had never thought possible. when he was with her, he was happier than he'd ever been before, kind of like how being high on cocaine must feel to a junkie... and without her, like the past month or so, he had never felt worse. and now? now he was near enough literally shaking with nerves and fear, wondering if this was the right thing to do, whether he was just being stupid, whether she'd just laugh at him or maybe just ignore him. and he knew if she did that, it was all over, for him, or him&her, for everything he guessed. he couldn't take it if he did this, played this song for her, in his last final, desperate attempt because he missed her too goddamn much... for her to just fling it all back in his face and say she didn't care. that he'd ruined it enough, that she had moved on, that she was too good for him. the last was true, he knew that... but to hear her say it? he didn't think he could handle that, not with all the shit that had happened between them in the last month. he couldn't believe it had only just been a month either. it felt like fucking centuries since they'd looked at each other and smiled. only just one month since he'd been able to think of her name without wanting to curl up under his bed and never resurface. just one month and yet it seemed like a lifetime.
it was their first day of recording. he needed to do this now, he knew, but he really just needed another week, another month, just so he could perfect this song, just so it could be everything he wanted it to be, so that it'd be enough to win her over, at least for a little while. and he wasn't sure if it was going to work - whether anything was going to work and help to make them better, and bring them back together again. maybe he was just being stupid thinking that just a song about her could change her mind, and make her realize just how much he needed her in his life? and god, how he hated sounding so emo, even in his thoughts. it made him sound quite pathetic, he knew it, like he was about to go and cry in a corner or whatever. and, to be fair, he probably could do that now, now that garret buggered off back to ireland. he was all alone in this goddamned apartment, and it felt kind of wrong, like he should just lock it up and go somewhere else because it didn't feel right without garret being there, somehow, but he didn't. he wasn't sure why, but part of the reason was because he wasn't sure where else he could go. sure, people had offered when he'd first left.. well, now caleb and savannah's apartment, but he doubted they would now, it just wouldn't be fair to go up to them and ask if he could stay there. and besides, garret was happy for him to stay all on his own in his apartment, so he guessed it wouldn't hurt. he was actually cleaning up after himself now, which was a surprise in itself, because he didn't want to leave his junk all over garret's apartment. he'd need to keep it habitable, in case the whole thing later that day in the recording studio went horribly wrong.
he should probably practice one last time, because he knew he was going to mess up a chord, or stumble over some of the lyrics, but he didn't. if he was going to fuck up, one more practice wouldn't help - it'd just make him feel more nervous and anxious and he'd never get anywhere being all jittery and scared. because, yeah, he was scared and he wasn't really going to try and deny it, because no-one would believe him anyway. he was so, so scared, and it was weird, because it was savannah he was scared of, and how she was going to react, and savannah was seemingly the last person on earth he would be frightened of, next to baskets of kittens and fucking unicorns. and yet here he was, with about half an hour to go until they were due to be in the recording studio, not even dressed yet, instead just in his boxers, feeling sick to his stomach with nerves. he was pretty pathetic, and he loathed himself for it, he really did. anyway, why should he be scared of savannah? she was doing perfectly fine without him, she looked like she didn't have a care in the world whilst he was hiding out in someone else's apartment, cowering. he wasn't going to let that happen. she'd laugh at him forever if she found out, and there would be absolutely no chance of them getting back together after that. she wouldn't want to date a coward - nobody would. and if he wanted to get back together with savannah, however unlikely it was seeming, he was going to have to be brave and not be a bloody pussy anymore. with that thought in mind he jumped up off of the couch, nearly knocking his guitar tot he floor, but managing to catch it just in time, before heading into the shower. if nothing else, he was going to look his best for her. so, if all else failed, and she didn't want him back, and she was already over him, at least he didn't look like a total wreck in the progress.
his positive outlook only lasted a couple of minutes, before he got into the shower and was promptly drenched in freezing cold water. he yelped in surprise, jumping backwards and tripping over the edge of the shower/bath combo and falling flat on his arse. thank god nobody else was in the apartment at the moment. jesus christ. he winced and frowned at his reflection in the mirror, before changing the water temperature from safely outside the shower. when it was finally warm enough, he stepped in, and showered hurriedly before the water could turn cold. shit. he was going to be late. this was just turning out perfect, right? he'd planned this all meticulously, something he never liked to do, and now it was all failing. the perfect example of why he never made plans, because he always seemed to ruin them. finally though, he got out and quickly dried himself off, his arse still smarting from where he'd smacked down on the cold tiles. he got dressed hurriedly, knowing that he was going to be late, and not wanting to arrive incredibly late, before looking at his reflection in dismay. so much for looking his best. his hair was still damp and his hoodie was too big and his jeans were all faded and... ugh. whatever. he wasn't going to fret over his appearance anymore. he was going to just get this over and done with, before he made it any worse.
there was a small bright side - at least it was not raining. it was suitably cloudy, and slightly cold, but it wasn't obnoxiously sunny, and it wasn't pouring it down with rain, so he didn't mind. he slid into his car, placing his guitar at the back, before reversing out of the driveway and into the road. whilst he drove, he turned the radio off and instead sung his lyrics in his head, making sure that he wasn't going to forget them. he could always improvise he guessed, but it wouldn't sound as good. he had struggled with these lyrics for a couple of weeks now, trying to figure out how to verbalise his thoughts and his feelings for her, without taking it sound too emo or clingy or whatever. it had been quite awkward - in the past, the lyrics he had written were mostly all happy, 'life rules!' lyrics, and they'd been easier to write than... well, this. it had been really hard, but somehow he'd managed o do it, and he remembered them all, and hey, maybe this wasn't going to be so bad after all. maybe she wouldn't' just outright laugh at him, and tell him he was silly, that he was in too deep and she couldn't give a flying fuck either way about him anymore... yeah. that wasn't going to happen. he was sure of it .that couldn't happen. the savannah he knew wouldn't be that harsh... but then again, what did he really know about her anymore? had it all just been one big lie? he really didn't know. but he was okay. he was going to do this. it was going to be fine.
he pulled into the bni studio's parking lot and realized he was making a big fucking mistake. he couldn't do this. in the next ten minutes or so, he was going to be in the recording studios, making a huge, huge fool of himself, and he couldn't do that. he sat in his car, staring down at his hands in his lap and trying to will himself to just get out, but he couldn't. he flipped his phone open, just to see what the time was, and found out he was already five minutes late. 'aw fuck, fuck, fuck,' he mumbled to himself. he could just decide to drive back to the apartment, right? he didn't have to do this, really... but deep inside, he knew he did, so after a few more agonizing minutes, he opened the car door and stepped out, pulling his guitar case with him and slinging it over his shoulder. locking his car, he walked into the studios, past the reception desk and into the second recording studio. caleb and savannah were already there, and he gave them a slight smile, trying to stop his hands from shaking as he sat down on the sofa and took his guitar out from the guitar case. 'so, uh,' he started, just deciding to skip over the apologies for being late; he could deal with that later, when he'd gotten this over and done with. 'so, i suggest we start with 'into thin air',' he said with a nod, gripping his guitar slightly as the other two agreed. he'd chosen into thin air because it started with the same chord as his own song, so nobody would get suspicious. he started playing, before going off into his song, trying to keep his fingers steady as he stared down a his guitar, before beginning to sing. 'i never realized what i had, until you left...' he wasn't going to fuck this up. he couldn't. 'now i can't say your name without feeling empty..' he didn't want to look up, didn't want to see savannah's reaction, if she was going to laugh. and he carried on, staring down at his guitar and playing, subconsciously feeling sorry for caleb who must be feeling incredibly awkward right now. as he played the final chord, he shifted slightly, staring down at his feet awkwardly, his heart thumping in his chest. she was going to laugh at him now. aw shit. he was feeling even more nervous now, like he was about to be sick or something.
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